Regrets

How do some people claim they don't have regrets? I don't see how even the most cheerful people can live through life without regrets. I guess, when a person says he doesn't have regrets, he really means that he hasn't succumbed to his regrets. He has regrets, but he has accepted them and moved on. Regrets, if let loose to grow, can become all devouring black holes. They suck every sliver of hope and happiness left in you, leaving you despondent and restless. It is a strange state of restlessness, bordering on depression. It doesn't let you focus on things that are positive and can break this cycle of negativity, instead it prods you to continue down the path of self-destruction, leaving you worse than where you had begun. It's a vicious cycle at it's vicious best.

Projections

I often wonder about how all of us tend to project an image. It is a little like role play. We choose to behave differently with different people. For instance, if I run into a pesky neighbour I'd like to avoid, I act all busy and try to ignore him. On the other hand, if I run into a senior colleague I'd like to please, I'm all graces and charms. Then, who is the real me? Am I a haughty snob or a fawning sycophant. I say, I'm both. In fact I'm more. I can be a loyal friend, a generous host, a mean competitor, a swindling fraudster, a caring son, a spoilt brat and every other hue and shade there is out there.  These are just different faces/aspects of the real me. I firmly believe that all human beings are basically the same. We share a common pool of emotions and responses. Some are more adept at controlling them, while some are not. But, then these exist in one and all.

Hence, my theory goes as follows. Don't be hasty in labelling people as good, bad, haughty, selfish, etc. If your first impression leave a bad taste, give the relationship some more time and see if subsequent interactions change your opinion. If you keep running into the bad side of a person, try to analyze and figure out how to net him on the good side. A person that you want to influence might project a mean and harsh exterior, but rest assured he has a caring and reasonable facade as well. You'll have to be smart enought to figure out how to tap that positive emotion in him. As always, the ball is in your court, it's upto you to put in the legwork and play it to your advantage.