Marriage views – the regional divide

It is interesting to note how the views of North Indian and South Indian men (the young and eligible kind) differ on marriage. Their views appear to be a reflection of their approach to life. Young North Indian men have a more natural approach to marriage. They tend to see it as a part of life’s progression, an event that has to pass, something that shouldn’t be worried too much about - the sooner dealt with the better. Their take is that when there are more important things like career that need one’s attention going forward, you don’t want to saddle the most productive years of your life with the distraction of searching for a bride. To lend credence to this theory, a friend from UP pointed out that several successful businessmen like the Ambanis got married quite early in life and were subsequently able to draw on this familial stability to build their business empires.

In contrast, South Indian men seem to fret a lot over the issue of marriage. They approach family and career in the reverse order of their North Indian coutnerparts. They prefer to pursue professional and financial stability before venturing into marriage. It is a mindset that flows naturally from their approach to life. Right from childhood, a South Indian middle class child’s life revolves around academic achievement. It is drilled into one’s head that academic success always gets top priority; everything else can wait. In bargain while the South Indian male builds enviable career skills, his life skills remain under-developed (the vice versa is true for the average North Indian male – while his English may be weak, his worldly instincts are razor sharp). For a Madrasi, selecting which IIT to apply to is easier than choosing whom to get married to and hence, this is a decision that is avoided till it becomes ineluctable.

As a 25-year-old quintessential South Indian male, I’m facing these very challenges in my life. Whenever my mother talks to me about marriage proposals over the phone, I escape by citing that I need more time to build professional and financial stability before taking on adventures on the personal front. When I discuss this with my Haryanvi friends they are bemused – “financial stability?”- they ask – “that comes through marriage!”….ahem…now, that’s a different discussion, ain’t it? ;)

ps: Many of you might disagree with my generalization in terms of North and South Indians. I admit that such classification might be too simplistic. Nevertheless, this topic amuses me to no end...and I thought you folks deserve to have a good laugh on the same... :D